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Told my roommate I was going out partying but later on decided to stay home and just sleep. Got woken up to loud sounds coming from his room and he was having sex with his girlfriend and that was normal till i heard him say "yeah, now two fingers...fuck, i love your fingers up my ass" I was wide awake now and listened to commands like "punch my balls, bite my taint, fist my ass, bite my nips" and the one that had me laughing in my pillow "youre the man tonite, im your shitty bitch". MInd you, dude is all mr macho and would die if he knew i heard this. Saving that info for a rainy day.

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I learned I'm in the "less than one in a thousand" category that experience higher libido as a side effect of my medicine. Unfortunately, I'm also in the "less than one in ten" group to experience vaginal dryness as a side effect as well. Oh and I'm slightly allergic to most lubes.

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I found out I was conceived during a threesome. :(

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Was with my girl at a hourly motel and we were having a great fuck session and im standing up while she's on the side of the bed. Well I got cocky (haha, cocky) and decided to scoop her up and fuck standing up. Well the first burst of adrenaline was great but a minute or so and she was getting heavy and i felt a cramp coming on. I was going to be superstud no matter what but man my arms gave out and my legs cramped and i tried to put her down but it came out more like i body slam. I tried to explain but she swears I did it on purpose and is still mad..fuck it, i should have body slammed her and did a little dance then.

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Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend after a rather steamy session. He kept softly whispering, "That was amazing, that was amazing..." I kissed him and agreed. Apparently he was talking about the fact that he'd managed to throw the used condom into the bin using his left hand.

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Tanked up off of beer, pizza, wings and cheese sticks while watching the superbowl at a party and i meet a friends cousin who is fine as hell. We flirt during commercials and split for my truck after the game. We are going doggy and I feel a fart building up so i try and crack the window and let a silent one go but jesus it stank and wouldnt leave the car. She starts to cough, then gag and finally says fuck it and says stop and leaves. I just sat there in my own funk...of course i jerked off then went back into the party since she left. Fucking cheese sticks

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Today, I was texting my boyfriend during a 7 hour car ride with my family. I thought it'd be fine to text dirty with him. Little did I know, my audio corrector was on, and told me the right way to spell 'penis' and 'orgasm.' 5 hours left.

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My first boyfriend and I were both virgins. He was trying to use his finger down there and accidentally stuck it in the wrong hole. It lasted all of two seconds, but I lost it. I died laughing, and he was completely mortified. His finger looked like it was dipped in the hersheys bottle

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Today, my boyfriend stopped mid-intercourse so he can pop a pimple on my back.

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After a great night of drinking and partying in Coconut Grove I went home with this cute guy I had known for awhile. We were at his place and started to have some fun and he started to go down on me. He was really great and knew what he was doing. Well I thought I was about to explode so I gave into the feeling. Instead of orgasming I pissed all in his face. He looked shocked when he tasted it, shot up and went straight to the bathroom. I apologized over and over as he brushed his teeth, mouthwashed and washed his face. He just smiled and asked me to leave.
Every time Id see him out after that night we would smile and wave but never talked and he would always say something to the friend he was with and they would laugh. Ugh EWTHATSDIRTY

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