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I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks.

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I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital.

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Today, while watching a movie, I said to my new girlfriend it's bullshit how girls get away with false advertising by stuffing their bras, but the second a guy stuffs his pants it's game over. She seemed upset and went to the bathroom, finally coming out at least 2 cup sizes smaller.

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My roommate never gets pussy, but this night he is... Me and my three other roommates want to fuck with him so we grab the iHome and put it right out front of his door and blast the music from the lion king.

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It had been boozing boozing boozing all night at an Open bar. I had been working on this chick for a few weeks, she was hot and had a very worthy body, but wasn't interested...
But her friend was and soon enough, we were swapping saliva in the VIP.
Had her out the bar by 1 and in the sheets by 1:30. We did the dirty and passed out.
I had forgotten I had to get up at 5 am for a scuba diving trip, and now it was 5 so she had to go. That was one of the most awkard kick-outs, " Hey this is gonna sound weird but you gotta go, Im going scuba diving. Grab your heels, its been good."

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Today, I told my parents that I was pregnant. I'm 16. While my mom looked shocked, my dad started to chuckle. When I asked
why, he said, "It's just funny that someone would want to sleep with you."
EWDIRTYSHEETS

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Last Night in Bed... I was having sex with my x-fiancee and had to pull out, and I shot my load, but it all landed right in her mouth. I wasn't aiming or nothing, and she was lying down. I was like damn good shot as she coughed and sputtered my cum!

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I was in the bedroom with my girl getting some head and decided that instead of finishing in her mouth, I would mix it up and finish on her face. Should be fun right?As I was about to cum her mom calls to her from just outside the door asking if she needs anything from the store.too far along to stop so I started shooting as she was trying to answer. wasnt the best situation butmadeforagreatstory

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Me and this chic had been hooking up in high school. She was pretty shy and prude. We're getting going and I tell her to suck it. She tells me she wants to be dating to do that. I tell her fuck it, let's go out, we might as well. Happy as hell she sucks me off. I'm done and I tell her, "I feel so bad" she goes, "Why?" I tell her b/c I really don't have time for a gf...

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In highschool, i knew a girl who wanted a piece. She wasnt the greatest, but, when you are 16, skin is skin. So i nailed her at her parents house during a party, i had football practice early next morning. Half drunk, my friends and i went to practice for 2 hours from 8-10. When i hit the shower, i was undressing and getting a weird smell, yup i practiced in a gallon of period blood on my junk.

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