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I have been flirting with a classmate all semester and promised myself I wouldn't mess with him for real. But after finals i ran into him at a dorm party and I decided whatever and decided to see if he could back up all his talk. So we go up to his room and start messing around. HOLY SHIT he was so damn big I couldn't even wrap my hand around the circumference and his head was like a kids fist. Even on my back it was almost to much to take and i started to cry a little bit, but damn it was such a good hurt. But once he got into a good rhythm I swear I was going to pass out so I got on all fours. I had to think of something fast so I saw a lamp and lotion on his desk, i hit the lamp and it was almost pitch black and grabbed the lotion and put it in my hand. I didnt even let him stick it back in doggy, but used my hands under my vaj. He was so amped he didnt know the difference and i saved my baby bunker for another day. I have to admit, I never thought to big would be bad but in his case it was...ladies beware of the anaconda!

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Me and my roommate had sex at the same time the other night...We could see and hear everything.

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Today, I helped my girlfriend achieve the best orgasm of her life... by buying her a vibrator.

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I was over at the girl next doors apartment and we were going at it hard core. The aptment walls are really thin, and you can hear anything outside or from the next door. So she starts screaming "OH GOD, OH GOD, I LOVE YOU," which already becomes wierd because she isnt supposed to tell me she loves me, cause we are jsut buds etc... anyway... we then hear a loud knock at the door. So we look at each other and are thinking, who the hell would bother us can't they hear whats going on. Must be an emergancy or someone complaining. So I open the door, and their are two girls standing their with bibles, gigling. They look at me, and tell me they are from some baptist church, and then ask me if I had found jesus?
So I reply, of course I found jesus couldn't you hear her screaming for him. They left after that.

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On our last vacation, my wife and I saved some money by staying in
a cheap hotel. Just as we were falling asleep, we heard the sounds
of mattress springs and a banging headboard from the next room.

At first we were amused by the amorous couple.
After five minutes it had lost its charm.
After ten minutes we were getting pretty annoyed, in that it was
keeping us awake.
After fifteen minutes, we were just plain ticked off.

After half an hour we were pretty damned impressed.

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Today, my best friend, my boyfriend, and I were watching a movie. The movie got boring and the lights were out, so I fell asleep. When I woke up, I went into my room and found my best friend and my boyfriend asleep naked in MY bed.

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one time this fine ass light skinned chick kept lookin at me so i said u wanna go to my crib and do it? she was like yeah so we went and i tried to stuff my ding a ling in her earhole. while trying to do this i skeeted in her eardrum, she was like damn man wtf? i was like well damn! my bad so she took my big dick and started sucking it and i came again.
EWDIRTYSHEETS
(From Dirty Sheets Staff- This is the lamest story ever!!!)

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Some background info is needed before this story can be fully appreciated. Dating a girl for a year she breaks it off a buddy of mine takes me out to cheer me up the conversation turns to the girl and getting back together. A little drunk I say to my buddy "I am going to get back with her just to stick it in her ass." fast forward six months I get a call from the girl she wants to go out...one thing leads to another we end up back her place. Things get going and I after every position I tell her I want to stick it in her ass...she pauses and says she isn't sure I talk her into it. After finishing off in her ass I roll over grab my cell dial my buddy and say "Done" he instantly knew what I was talking about starts laughing I hang up without another word. Girl ask "did you just call someone to tell them you fucked me in the ass" my response "that is fucked up that you would even think that, but I sure did"EWDIRTYSHEETS

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always being a porn fanatic and discussing great porn flicks with a buddy, we had decided to pull something off. a chic i was kind of talking to was in for it with my persuasion. one night at a parade during Mardi Gras, she came out and brought a friend to tag along. My secrete weapon for the night was goldschlogger and a sony handy cam.
EWDIRTYSHEETS

We got these 2 girls so torn up as we were drinking
also but we knew that we had to stay functional. her freind had an apt right off of the parade route and we insisted on going back there. we walked in and kissing started, clothes came off and before i knew it my cock was being knawed on my two dirty sluts that were too drunk to care about what anyone thought... my buddy was fliming and at one point one of the girls was riding my dick and

my buddy being there filming not fucking either chic i assume wanted to get his hands dirty, becausethe next day as we reviewed the film, at one point as one of the girls was riding my cock , a hand, with a watch, and a clothed sleeve slide into the camera frame with the index finger extended heading rigth for her butthole.. SCORE!!! he denied it was his hand while wearing the same watch! lmao

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So, I meet a girl a girl at a bar, and her boyfriend's bar-tending. So, I drink his beer without paying and have his girl visit the next day. About 5 minutes after she leave another girl I've been "seeing" stops by with her friend. We get it on while the friend just kicks it in my apartment... We finish and she wants a cigarette but has to go to the store to get them - So while she's gone...
EWDIRTYSHEETS

I bang her friend... who starts her period. They leave and I round out the night when I invite my "girlfriend" over and get down in the same bed where I just fucked 3 other women... Thank God I took a shower before she came over... shame I didn't have time to change the sheets though.

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